A Collection of Critical and Immaculate Predictions for 2025
Photo of a bust of Nostradamus by Clément Bardot/Wikimedia Commons
In 2025, many things will happen. Here are some that will, and some that won’t.
The Celtics will beat the Thunder in the NBA Finals and repeat as champions. The space hotel will not, in fact, open for business. Trump will say at least one thing a month that does not make any sense but forces his underlings to tie themselves into knots on television to make it seem like it does. The Cascadia subduction zone earthquake will not occur.
Humans will not set foot on Mars. The earth will be very warm, again, but not as warm as 2024. Season two of Severance will be pretty good. At least one confirmed Trump cabinet member will resign by August. A second will resign before the year ends. There will be a hurricane in the Atlantic in May.
Anora will win Best Picture at the Oscars. Trump’s tariffs plan will eventually have so many carveouts and loopholes for his friends or corporate sponsors that calling them “tariffs” will start to seem a bit silly. The Mets will win the World Series. Republicans will not repeal the Inflation Reduction Act.
The world will remain incapable of building the massive robots used to fight the kaiju in the 2013 movie Pacific Rim, which takes place in 2025. The Supreme Court will at some point again make you madder than you have ever been in your life. Captain America: Brave New World will disappoint both critically and at the box office. Bong Joon-Ho’s Mickey 17, however, will absolutely rule.
A major volcanic eruption will snarl air traffic in part of the world for at least one week. The Utah Jazz will win the NBA lottery and the right to select Cooper Flagg first overall. Trump will have some sort of health scare that we don’t actually hear about until months later. Fusion power will remain approximately 20 years away from commercialization.
Studies on the West Antarctic and Greenland ice sheets will indicate that they are, once again, melting faster than we previously thought. Companies will keep forcing “AI” down your throat in ways you did not ask for. No one will storm the Capitol building.