Boeing's Latest Innovation; Smoke and Mirrors

Yet another one of Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner batteries has gone up in smoke. Reuters reports Japan Airlines noticed white smoke emerging from the plane during a maintenance check at Tokyo’s Narita International Airport yesterday.

Boeing’s response: Yea, that’s what it’s supposed to do.

HUH?

Can’t say I blame them. Last year’s debacle of battery issues grounded the entire fleet of 787s in the US and Japan for three months while Boeing fixed the issue. Clearly they want us to know, they’ve fixed the issue.

Didn’t you know that battery is supposed to be leaking liquid inside its steal containment box?
It only powers the smoke detectors in the bathroom anyway and in that case just because there’s smoke, doesn’t mean there’s a fire.

Move along people, nothing to see here.

After the incident, Boeing tweeted:

For those of you who don’t speak terrestrial rocket scientist, I’ve provided a translation for you:

Boeing Airplanes
@BoeingAirplanes

God, you normal people just don’t understand how these things work. We’re the engineers. Sit down and focus on keeping your tray tables and seat backs in their full upright positions. We’ll take care of the rest. Love you lots. #Boeing

Well that settles it. I guess there’s no need to cancel my trip to Spain next month. I don’t know about you but I’ve got complete confidence in them. So does the NTSB apparently.

Thankfully I’m fluent in public servant speak as well so here goes:

NTSB
@NTSB

Give us a call when 250 passengers go up in smoke. Until then, it’s the anniversary of Captain Sully’s miraculous landing on the Hudson and we’ll be attending the lets-all-pat-eachother-in-the-industry-on-the-pack party if you need us.

Yeah, don’t jump to it or anything. After all, the NTSB is still investigating the last battery fire that occurred on a Japan Airlines 787 flight in Boston last January.

I hear cruises are lovely this time of year.