Cheesecake Factory Teams Up With the Gig Economy, All Hell Breaks Loose

December 5, 2018: A day that will live in infamy. A day historians will study for years to come. A day when an unholy union between the gig economy and a classic treat opened a portal straight to hell.

To celebrate it’s 40th anniversary, America’s favorite restaurant The Cheesecake Factory announced that it would be “giving away 40,000 FREE slices of cheesecake!” to customers who ordered the factory’s eponymous goop through the DoorDash delivery app, which is like Seamless or Postmates, but…actually there’s no difference.

While the sheer magnitude of 40,000 slices of cheesed cake is enough to stupefy me, personally, into a near catatonic state, the offer was apparently tempting enough to cause a mini-riot in Arlington, VA, where police were called to quell a horde of delivery drivers who swarmed the local CCF like townsfolk demanding Dr. Frankenstein turn over his monster.

Speaking with ARLnow.com, Arlington County Police Department spokeswoman Ashley Savage said officers were brought in to “calm the situation down,” and that at least one person had been arrested in the fracas and would likely be charged with disorderly conduct.

In fact, it seems as if chaos was fairly par for the course at Cheesecake Factories all over:

According to Door Dash’s Twitter account, the entire Eastern time zone had maxed out their cheese cake gluttony by 1 p.m.

There’s a lesson here to be learned about how the gig economy is fundamentally flawed, and the people who suffer most are the workers who can’t even bring food from point A to point B without getting screwed over by some poorly planned corporate stunt. But, honestly, I’m just shocked that this many people wanted those sweet globs of dairy on a Wednesday morning.