Conservatives Are Melting Down Faster Than Our Planet Over Greta and the Climate Teens

On Friday, students around the world and concerned citizens from all walks of life took to the streets to demand specific policies in hopes of averting climate disaster. Teenage climate change activist Greta Thunberg arrived in New York City for the strike and was still in town on Monday to absolutely destroy complacent world leaders with her stirring testimony at the United Nations. And so, right on time, conservatives absolutely lost what was left of their minds.

It broke out on places like Fox News, which cast the notion of banding together to accomplish anything as fatally big government. Then the National Republican Congressional Committee blasted out a press release smearing the “climate brats” who protested their Democratic congresswoman in Iowa. How nice of them!

As these things tend to go, things only got more unhinged. Cathy Young, thought-haver and contributor to the libertarian site Reason, tweeted a provocative idea: What if this thing was actually a totally different thing? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY THEN???

There was also Fox News (yes, again!) trying to make Monday morning’s climate protests clogging several major intersections in Washington, DC during rush hour—which also irked some of lame voices of Objective Journalism—into……whatever this hilarious miss was. Watch both for a perfectly refreshing shot/chaser feeling:

And of course, tapping into the same energy of the right-wing pro-gun crowd wanting to give teen activist David Hogg a good spanking, there was this former Breitbart editor suggesting Thunberg “needs a spanking or a psychological intervention… Probably both.”

A very normal response for a grown man to have! Seek help, dear lord.

And, naturally, there was some making fun of the 16 year old activist having Asperger’s thrown in there as well, with this conservative “journalist” who lives on Twitter calling her a “freak” and trying to double down before eventually apologizing:

Here’s one more right-wing attack dog to see you off:

GAME, SET, MATCH, KID.