Donald Trump Would Absolutely Do This to Greenland

Donald Trump would like to buy Greenland, and despite Greenland’s assurance that it is absolutely not for sale, it seems he is not quite ready to drop the dream. And if he did manage to purchase the 57,000-population island—which, again, to be clear, is not for sale—he absolutely would NOT stick a hideous piece of Trump-branded real estate in the middle of it. Don’t be ridiculous!

Trump would NEVER do this!

I can’t think of a more fitting fate for the lovely island of Greenland in the Year of Our Demon 2019 than this: a massive gold casino replacing its climate change-battered glaciers and a Trump running its economy into the ground. Maybe Nickelback can play the boardwalk sometime?