Fake News Iran Something Something Houses Lake Fired President Bullshit!

President Donald Trump was really, sincerely On One on Friday at a speech before the National Association of Realtors. He even (gasp) swore.

Explaining that “I know so much about what you do because I did the same thing,” Trump opened his speech with an extended off-script ramble about the importance of realtors—that much-loved group—and his own experience in property development.

Noting at one point that an environmental consultant had blocked a planned land development of his over a lake on the property, the president gleefully announced that “I fired his ass so fast” to the rapturous applause of the assembled realtors.

A giddy Trump then moved on to congratulate himself on the country’s economy, attack California over its recent wildfires, and criticize Sen. Elizabeth Warren as being “an angry person.”

But perhaps the wildest moment of the president’s hour-long speech came toward the end, when he announced that when it comes to his administration’s ongoing ramp up toward war in the Middle East, his favorite enemy, “fake news,” is actually a very good thing.

“We’re right now dealing with Iran, and they put out so many false messages that Iran is totally confused,” Trump exclaimed. “I’dunno, that might be a good thing.” (Trump had, in fact, used a similar line twice during a Twitter diatribe earlier that morning).

Then, just moments later, Trump pivoted to say that despite no matter how helpful “fake news” may be when it comes to Iran, it was still “bullshit.”

“Do you ever notice they never write the names of people anymore? Everything is ‘a source says,’” he said. “There is no source. The person doesn’t exist. The person’s not alive. It’s bullshit, OK? It’s bullshit.”

Fake news good, but fake news also… bad? Truly we live in a world of paradox and contradiction.