Goldfish-Brained Idiots Spewing “Pro-Hamas” Bullshit Forget that Bernie Sanders Exists

By Jacob Weindling  |  August 6, 2024 | 3:05pm
Photo by Joy Malone/Getty Images
Elections Bernie Sanders
Goldfish-Brained Idiots Spewing “Pro-Hamas” Bullshit Forget that Bernie Sanders Exists

Because the American right-wing is just a stew of incandescent and incoherent rage, I don’t want to give their predictable “pro-Hamas” talking points too much legitimacy or oxygen in the wake of the Democratic Party getting full-blown Walz-pilled, but I do want to use this experience to highlight the quintessential nature of these goldfish-brained idiots who have no long-term memory.

In order to be a conservative commentator who does not believe the cacophony of bullshit that gets peddled every day, I assume that one of two things must happen. Either you cynically accept that your role is to play the village idiot and turn your brain off while you spend your days gorging yourself on rotting low-hanging fruit, or you have to hit yourself in the head with a hammer every morning before you go outside. It’s the only way any of this lunacy could make sense.

Oh yeah, the left, famous haters of elevating Jewish candidates to higher office. You got us! That’s maybe the thing we’re most famous for, never ever backing a politician who is Jewish. Our defining trait, some even say! Our rank antisemitism has taken over the entire Democratic Party, and it definitely doesn’t have any Jews in elevated positions of power like Senate Majority Leader.

It’s incredible that the people who actually believe this bullshit don’t drown every morning when they brush their teeth. Using the rejection of a one-term Jewish governor for VP as proof that the party is antisemitic is just standard lizard-brained GOP nonsense taken to a depraved degree. Even if Nancy Pelosi lost her battles in the shadows and the Democrats went with Josh Shapiro, walking grievance machines wrapped in human skin like Senator Tom Cotton would still find a way to frame his selection as antisemitic (no word yet from these schmucks on whether being one of the final two choices is also antisemitic).

This is the picture of pure cynical politics, and it’s instructive to see what it takes to accept this charge as true. You must believe that the left — who sparked a years-long civil war in the Democratic Party in an attempt to elevate Bernie Sanders, a Jewish man, to the presidency — hates Jews so much that we don’t want any Jew to be president (including Jewish lefties like me!).

An entire era that defined Democratic politics and which Republicans exploited to their own advantage must be completely forgotten in an instant to adhere to this new line sent down from the billionaires who do all these people’s thinking for them. They are mere single-celled organisms, pure rage in molecular form, that America’s deranged billionaire class has elevated to positions of relative influence. In the coming days, watch who repeats these talking points that only children seven years and younger could conceivably buy, and treat them accordingly.

 
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