I Want Better for Cardi B

I love Cardi B. I find her hilarious, charming, and endearing. Her candor on social media is a major part of her appeal. It makes her come across more accessible than many of her contemporaries, who may be online with her, but certainly don’t carry themselves in the same way that the regular degular shmegular girl from the Bronx does.

On the other hand, especially after this week, I want her cell phone service provider to do her a world of good and turn her data off. I say this as a fan, as someone who purchased her free mixtape, Gangsta Bitch Music, Vol. 1, and many of the singles she’s released thus far: Girl, pull it together. And fast.

Over the weekend, a video allegedly owned by Offset emerged featuring a naked woman not named Cardi B. We don’t know when the video was filmed, but we have since learned that Cardi is threatening legal action against those who hacked her fiancé’s iCloud. We also don’t know the dynamics of their relationship, i.e. if they are polyamorous or have some sort of understanding that would make the video much ado about nothing. But ultimately it shouldn’t be any of our business.

Unfortunately, these two have made a habit of consistently broadcasting the details of their relationship—which is why they decided to go above and beyond to respond to any sort of scandal or criticism surrounding the status of it.

For the record, this simulated sex video is not a denial. In any event, Cardi took to Twitter to address those who wondered what in the hell she was doing:

I saw someone doing the absolute most on baby Jesus’ birthday in an effort to address people whose opinions about her personal life shouldn’t matter. Sure, she had her clothes on, but it’s fairly apparent what the intent behind it was. Like, you’re moaning, “I don’t got no more in me left, you gotta give a whole hour” as Offset’s back there thrusting away. What were we supposed to get from that?

I’m not simulated-sex shaming, but I do question what provoked her to do it. It’s tied to a pattern I hope she breaks in 2018. For some reason, Cardi B thinks that not only does she have to address as many detractors as possible, she has to do so by actively searching her name on Twitter.

It’s one thing to respond to people who may say something disrespectful to you directly, but it’s another to actively seek out those putting you down. Why hasn’t anyone told her to stop doing this? Or if they have, why won’t she listen already?

Unless she’s promoting her old single “Cheap Ass Weave,” why is she searching her name on Twitter and singling out their alleged tired scalps in retaliation?

And yes, she does reference Offset a lot, but folks will get over it. I bought the single and from the looks of the iTunes charts, so have many others. The fans are not bothered, beloved.

Maybe she didn’t know she would ever become this famous, but she certainly pursued fame and now appears to struggle with it.

As explained when she said this in her New York cover story last month:

“You be seeing these artists going through their meltdowns and fucking shit, and you be like, Why you doing all of that? You’re famous, you’re a fucking millionaire, why? Bitch, I’m broke, I want to shave my head.” She laughs. “Then when you in those shoes, it’s just like, I see why people go crazy. This shit is not what it fucking seems.” She pauses. “But I can’t complain.”

She can’t complain, but she sure does spend a lot of time cursing out strangers.

Some will say that Cardi B is young, thus ought to be given a little leeway. No. Cardi B is 25 years old, which is younger, but it’s not that young. This is about a mentality, one that follows plenty of insecure people into old age. Like them, Cardi B seems to be driven by the hood adage of “My haters are my biggest motivators.” More often than not, when people go on and on about their haters, they’re bringing up the arch rival equivalent of an imaginary friend.

I want Cardi B to last for the long haul, but if she can’t handle the fame she’s got now, what is she going to do once the album drops? Or if she’s courted for more TV and film projects? Did Mariah Carey teach us nothing when she rapped “Ain’t gon’ feed ya, I’mma let ya starve” in the iconic diss track “Obsessed?”

Being driven by your haters is a false motivator. It won’t make you happy. It won’t make you any more settled. A fixation on those who don’t fuck with you will have you emotionally fucked all the way up.

Cardi, you’re a Grammy-nominated rapper with a highly anticipated album who has already broken a female rap artist record with your debut major label single—which most of us knew was supposed to be nothing more than a promo release. Be happy. Stop trying to prove yourself. Turn your phone off sometimes. Social media may have helped make Cardi B, but if she doesn’t get it together, it could easily destroy her.