Ideas for your Ken Bone Halloween costume if you must, you monsters

By Katie McDonough  |  October 10, 2016 | 5:10pm
Latest

During last night’s presidential debate, Donald Trump was asked why he bragged about sexually assaulting women and then said he was going to jail Hillary Clinton, but also a man named Ken Bone wore a red sweater.

As Bone explained on CNN, he had originally planned to wear a beautiful olive suit but his pants split on the way to the debate, so he wore the red sweater instead.

And now, according to GQ, that red sweater is sold out on the IZOD website because you motherfuckers are going to dress up as him for Halloween.

If you must dress as this man meme for Halloween, here is how you do it:

Idea No. 1:

Wear a skeleton onesie, put the red sweater over it.

You to the mirror of a stranger’s bathroom as you literally take all of your clothes off so you can pee: “Ha ha hah ahha, I am Ken Bone.”

Idea No. 2:

Wear an Emily Deschanel mask along with the red sweater.

You to the person in line ahead of you at the bodega waiting to pay for beer and toilet paper and avoiding your gaze while you try to make eye contact: “Ha ha hah ahha, I am Ken Bones.”

Idea No. 3:

Put a dog bone in your hair and then put the red sweater on.

You to your therapist because your appointment fell on Halloween this year and why change it: “Ha ha hah ahha, I am Ken Bone.”

Idea No. 4:

Break your arm so that the bone juts out of your body, put the red sweater on but cut a hole out so that the jagged bone can show through.

You to the nurse at the ER before you lose consciousness: “Ha ha hah ahha, I am Ken Broken Bone.”

Idea No. 5:

Wear these novelty boxers with a disgusting, anatomically questionable erection, add the red sweater.

You to the police officers who are pushing you into the back of their squad car while your friends look on in horror, including one who is crying softly: “Ha ha hah ahha, I am Ken Boner.”

Halloween sucks.

 
Join the discussion...