Maybe Rudy Giuliani Should Talk to His Boss About Not Spreading Epstein Conspiracies

Rudy Giuliani, a walking pillowcase stuffed with soggy cotton balls and various insects, has a message for the vast swath of people who believe that Jeffrey Epstein’s jailhouse death on Saturday is part of a broader conspiracy to protect his rich and powerful accomplices: Everyone just cool it, OK? This is odd, since Giuliani is no stranger himself to spreading unfounded rumors he finds politically expedient.

Giuliani issued his directive in an early morning tweet on Monday:

If the former New York City mayor and current lapdog for Donald Trump is truly serious about stemming the tide of Epstein-related conspiracy theories, he should probably have a chat with his boss, who just days earlier retweeted—and in doing so, essentially endorsed—the wholly unfounded allegation that Epstein was murdered by none other than Bill and Hillary Clinton.

While Epstein’s official cause of death has not yet been released to the public, Attorney General William Barr vowed on Monday to investigate what has been initially labeled a suicide, saying in a statement that he has “consulted with the Inspector General who is opening an investigation into the circumstances of Mr. Epstein’s death.”

The president, however, seems to have already made up his mind.