Only YOU Can Prevent Tom Steyer From Ruining the Next Democratic Debate

Folks, I’m here to ask a favor on behalf of all of America: on NO ACCOUNT must you tell ANY POLLSTER that you intend to vote for Tom Steyer. This is extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely important.

It’s good to be against Steyer on the merits. The billionaire is running a useless vanity campaign that brings nothing of value to anyone, and his employees hate working for him. But the real reason it matters so much that nobody profess their love for Steyer is this:

That’s right. Ten Democrats have qualified for September’s debate, according to CNN—and if just a single additional Democrat makes the cut, they’re splitting the debate into two. This is not acceptable! It’s not acceptable to me, it’s not acceptable to America, and did I mention it’s not acceptable to me?

What we need is for the main candidates to be on one stage debating each other during a single night. We do not need to waste our time watching—to pick just one potential pairing at random—Tom Steyer yak at Joe Biden while Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders are nowhere to be seen. Everything is on the line here, people. If a pollster calls you at any point in the next week, do what’s right for the good of the country and do not mention Tom Steyer’s name. You’ve been warned!