Please Stop Trending: Gross, Useless, and Contradictory Stories

First, the new species of Asian cockroaches that have made their way to the U.S.. The worst part is that these roaches can withstand cold weather, so basically they never die, and basically my biggest fear is realized.

Next terrible trending tale is Helvetica the cologne. The fragrance is made of 100% water. I’m not kidding.

As you can tell from their Twitter account though, this is supposed to be a spoof on Helvetica’s trending and popular font simplicity. But they’re still charging $62 for the bottle!

We get the joke but that’s still a ridiculous price. Unfortunately, I’m sure we all know some hipster out there who will purchase the glass bottle of nothing because it’s ironic or cool, or not cool and that makes it cool, or something.

Lastly, Beyonce is not eating animals, but she’s wearing them. Last week Jay-Z announced that he was going vegan for 22 days and Beyonce was joining him on the challenge. But so far every time paparazzi has caught the couple leaving a vegan restaurant they’ve photographed Beyonce wearing some sort of animal.

Most recently, she was seen head-to-toe in leather pants, leather shoes, and a leather top with cow skin detailing. Regardless of whether it was faux leather and faux cow skin, she’s wearing things that resemble animal flesh to a vegan restaurant.

She even wore pepperoni print pants to one place! I know that’s not animal skin but she’s wearing meat patterns to a place that prides itself on not serving meat, and that’s just wrong/weird/I don’t know what it is, but it ain’t right. Either quit animals entirely or get out of the kitchen, please, I’m sorry, I still love you.

Romina Puga is a pop culture reporter and producer for Fusion. You can find her on “Fusion Now,” Fusion’s daily TV updates, going over new movies, music, apps, and why D’Angelo is still sexy.