SLAY QUEEN! Gina Haspel Praises CIA 'Heroines' in Confirmation Speech

During an already hell-day of news, Gina Haspel was sworn in on Monday as the new director of the Central Intelligence Agency, making her the first woman to hold the post. Slay, mama!

In her confirmation speech, Haspel said she feels “tremendous pride” at breaking through this particular glass ceiling, saying she stands “on the shoulders of heroines who never saw public acclaim” for their work with the agency.

Haspel went on to make a light joke about the rightful criticism she was met with during the confirmation process for her role in covering up the United States’ torture program (emphasis added):

I am truly honored to have this opportunity to lead the best workforce in government. It has been nearly 50 years since an operations officer rose up through the ranks to become the director, and after the experience of the last two months, I think I know why that is. [laughter] I look out in the crowd today, and I see a strong representation of the CIA’s past, present and possibly even the future. CIA has been more than a career. It has been for me, like many of you, a calling. In this building, and around the world today, there are officers carrying out a vital mission, sometimes at great personal risk. I want each of you to know that I took on the position of director because I want to represent you as well as lead you. My years at CIA have rewarded me in ways that I could never have imagined, and I will continue to give it, and you, my all.

Isn’t it funny when you oversee a vast, opaque network of black site prisons where torture takes place and then you direct your “operatives” (aka spies) to destroy evidence of said torture, and then you get called out for doing so, and then you become CIA director anyway?? Haha! Such a relatable experience.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders jumped on the bandwagon to offer her own cynical yas kween:

Political differences aside, I’m sure we can all agree that Haspel showed grit and determination during a difficult confirmation process—which, in retrospect, probably nowhere near as difficult as being waterboarded 83 times, as one prisoner held in a CIA prison that Haspel oversaw knows. Haha!