Steve Bannon's Fake Italian Fascism Academy Got Evicted and Folks, I’m Laughing

“Good” pieces of news are so rare these days that stories like “This Teacher Sold Her Limbs on the Black Market for Classroom Supply Money” can pass as heartwarming. But friends, I’ve got an actual heartwarming story here, which involves everyone’s favorite fascist former White House adviser, Steve Bannon.

You see, since his banishment from both the White House and Breitbart, Bannon has turned his sights towards Europe, attempting to build solidarity among the many parties in Europe’s surging far-right. The crown jewel of Bannon’s efforts was a 13th century monastery near Rome, which Bannon envisioned converting into a “modern gladiator” school teaching students the fine art of defending the “Judeo-Christian West.” Not sure Steve Bannon has ever been in a battle that didn’t take place in divorce court, but there you go.

Apparently, however, Italy wasn’t so on board with Bannon’s plan. On Friday, the nation’s cultural heritage ministry formally revoked the lease and evicted the conservative Catholic think tank Dignitatis Humanae Institute, of which Bannon is a trustee, from the grounds. Earlier this month, according to Quartz, an Italian newspaper reported that the letter used to guarantee the lease had been forged.

Quartz reported that Bannon was paying $110,000 a year to rent out the 13th-century monastery where the school was supposed to conduct its activities, but “now will have to search for another spot.” To this I say: lmao.

This is just the latest setback for Bannon in Europe. The New York Times reported last week that many of Bannon’s close former allies, such as French politician Marine Le Pen and Italian deputy prime minister Matteo Salvini—described by the Times as “one of Bannon’s earliest recruits”—have abandoned him in order to forge their own partnerships in Europe. Earlier this month, ahead of the European Union elections, Salvini held a rally in Milan featuring Le Pen and other far right-leaders, after which a leader in Germany’s far-right AfD party reportedly said of Bannon: “We don’t need him.”

Is Bannon becoming persona non grata to the worldwide far-right going to stop its surge? Probably not. But if we’re all going to end up in labor camps anyway, at least let me have Steve Bannon dying alone, friendless, and without spicy meatballs.