The Don Jr. Book Nobody Asked for Is Officially Happening

After nearly a year of speculation, President Donald Trump’s firstborn child and stump-sitting failson Donald Trump Jr. will finally get to show the world that he’s not just a meathead who spends 90% of his time liking pictures of guns on Instagram—no no, he’s an intellectual. An author.

As Politico first reported Wednesday, Donj has finally landed a book deal with Center Street Books, part of Hachette Book Group, and will grace the public with his (presumably monosyllabic) thoughts on “politics, current events and the future of the MAGA movement.”

To date, Donj’s efforts to prove his ability to read and write have been largely confined to Twitter shitposts, whiny opinion pieces in British newspapers, and enthusiastic endorsements of Russian efforts to help his dear sweet papa get elected. But, hey, maybe somewhere deep he’s got an inner Tolstoy yearning to break free.

It remains to be seen whether Donj’s literary excursion will earn him a coveted presidential endorsement from his father, whose own foray into authorship has been decidedly less successful than he’d have you believe. Maybe if his book includes a lot of colorful pictures, his dad will actually read the damn thing.