The One With Elizabeth Warren: Splinter's 2020 Democratic Debate Live Blog

The day you’ve all been waiting for is here. Kind of. Well, probably not. That’s tomorrow night. But hey, you’re here so you might as well stick around!

On Wednesday evening, 10 candidates for the Democratic Party’s nomination for president will take the stage—Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, Sen. Cory Booker, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Julián Castro, Jay Inslee, Tulsi Gabbard, Tim Ryan, John Delaney, and one Big Bird knockoff that claims to be a mayor.

To state the obvious, aside from Warren, none of the participants or their candidacies (save for maybe the climate change talking points from Jay Inslee) are particularly intriguing. But Telemundo and NBC are footing the bill, and everything’s already sequel-ized for the sake of stuffing some coffers (certainly not mine), so, sure why the hell not, let’s see what checks notes one mister Timothy John Ryan has to say about reparations.

Before you get your hopes up, the one good candidate and nine amiable strangers will, in all likelihood, not be asked the most pertinent questions for which voters demand answers, like, for instance, who was behind Bill de Blasio’s embarrassing staged text conversation with his son? Or, who told Beto O’Rourke he should be putting his nasty ass shoes on everyone’s countertops? But questions of varying usefulness will be asked, the candidates will respond, and I will probably crack open a beer or two before it’s all over to keep from slamming my head into the table, so yeah, let’s do this thing!