The Ten Likeliest Vice Presidents for Trump

Due to the unpredictability of Donald Trump and the chaos created by his potential Vice-Presidential sycophants, I need to get this column up before he randomly posts this news during one of his cable news rage-viewing sessions. The VP chase is in the news this week thanks to one collapsing clusterfuck of a candidate, and we are roughly two months away from the Republican convention. One would expect Trump to make his decision in the coming weeks.

We’ll list the ten candidates from least likely to most according to their odds on PredictIt, a site that allows people to bet on political outcomes and for Sean McElwee to completely overdo it and ruin his reputation. The price to buy a “yes they will be VP” share as of this writing is in parentheses.

2. J.D. Vance (15 cents)

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2. J.D. Vance (15 cents)
Photo by MICHAEL REYNOLDS/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

This honestly feels like the favorite to me. I have long thought the next candidate on this list was going to be Trump’s choice because he checks the most boxes of everyone in power making this decision, but that is my logical brain’s conclusion. Remember, we’re tapping into our game show host brain to try to figure this out, and the Yale guy who cosplays as some humble anonymous Midwesterner who Trump Jr. has a major crush on just feels like their guy, doesn’t it?

Like other peacocks on this list, Vance is very good at making the press look at him, and that skill is invaluable to a meat-filled bottle of spray tanner who can only perceive the world through the distorted lens of a cable news camera. Vance has already successfully tricked the press into believing he’s a serious person, and he has proven he can pretend to be a statesman even though anyone who comes into contact with him can see he’s a schmuck. The former editor of the Yale Law Journal really is the perfect match for what a Trump administration tries to market itself as, and what it truly wants to be.

 
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