The Ten Likeliest Vice Presidents for Trump

By Jacob Weindling | May 9, 2024 | 3:00pm

Photo by SPC Jamaal Warner, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Trumpland Donald Trump

Due to the unpredictability of Donald Trump and the chaos created by his potential Vice-Presidential sycophants, I need to get this column up before he randomly posts this news during one of his cable news rage-viewing sessions. The VP chase is in the news this week thanks to one collapsing clusterfuck of a candidate, and we are roughly two months away from the Republican convention. One would expect Trump to make his decision in the coming weeks.

We’ll list the ten candidates from least likely to most according to their odds on PredictIt, a site that allows people to bet on political outcomes and for Sean McElwee to completely overdo it and ruin his reputation. The price to buy a “yes they will be VP” share as of this writing is in parentheses.

1. Tim Scott (24 cents)

1. Tim Scott (24 cents) — Photo by Paul Hennessy/NurPhoto/Shutterstock

The prices indicate that Scott is a heavy favorite, and for good reason. He is a widely respected figure in the Republican establishment and is the exact type of trusted babysitter the lizard people who run the GOP would want keeping an eye on Trump. Tim Scott is one of just two established Senators on this list (Vance was elected to the Senate in 2022), and he didn’t insinuate that Trump had a tiny dick in 2016.

Scott brings a level of prestige and gravitas to the VP that no one else does, and he can help Trump try to continue to make inroads with black voters. His biggest liability was how he previously was kind of weird in public about his personal life. This raised unconfirmed rumors throughout the GOP around something that is frankly nobody’s business.

But if you’re running to serve in the White House, America makes your personal business our business, and the GOP’s bigoted and messy ruler would never choose a running mate he thought was gay. On January 22nd, Scott put this rumor mill to rest as he announced his engagement to a girlfriend he had been telling people about in response to this leading line of questions.

Scott’s Predictit price has been up only ever since. They only provide data going back 90 days, but even just tracing his rise from February 9th, his stock is up fifty percent.

My logical brain has long said Tim Scott is the guy, but the part of my brain forever damaged by covering Trump from 2016 to 2020 for Paste says to take J.D. Vance, or any of the other shameless Trump sycophants like him, far more seriously than the betting market currently is.