Trump Declares Small Victory in the War on Christmas

The War on Christmas will soon be all but vanquished, thanks to Donald Trump.

At Thursday’s National Day of Prayer address, Trump proclaimed small victory over the very fictional strife surrounding Christmas. Christmas superfans have claimed for some time that the holiday is under duress, thanks in part to the un-fun PC Police’s suggestion that for the one-in-10 Americans who don’t celebrate Christmas, “happy holidays” might be a slightly more inclusive December greeting than “Merry Christmas.” But that madness is now behind us.

Trump brought up the alleged resurgence of “Merry Christmas” while similarly championing a rebirth of the line “one nation, under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance. “One nation under God. So important. And we say it. A lot of people, they don’t say it. But you know what? They’re starting to say it more,” Trump said, to big cheers. “Just like we’re starting to say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ when that day comes around.”

Indeed, according to Trump, more people said, “Merry Christmas” this past holiday season than they did before he took office. “You notice the big difference between now and two or three years ago?” he said. “It was going in the other direction rapidly. Right? Now it’s straight up.”

Trump has long blamed President Barack Obama for destroying the sanctity of “Merry Christmas,” and early on in his campaign promised supporters he’d make bringing back “Merry Christmas” a priority. He claimed last Christmas that the phrase was already experiencing a renaissance. “People are proud to be saying Merry Christmas again,” he tweeted, though it’s unclear whether he came to that conclusion via actual research or just heard a bunch of people say it to him at Mar-a-Lago. In fact, the alleged return of “Merry Christmas” seems to be one of his favorite presidential achievements, right up there with Neil Gorsuch:

According to CBS News, polls have shown that “Merry Christmas” has remained the most popular holiday greeting in the United States for many years, so it appears the “happy holidays” conspirators were failing long before Trump took office.