Trump Tangled With Bette Midler and Lost

Whatever Donald Trump’s approval rating actually is, it will never compare to the 100 percent consistently scored by Bette Midler, a beloved comedy goddess and known Trump loather who only screws up her tweets once every few years.

Why the president is on Twitter in the middle of the night in the UK when he should be shopping online for a new tuxedo/brain is anyone’s guess, but here he is, chastising Midler for tweeting a fake quote wrongly attributed to him:

Never mind that spreading lies and false information over social media is how Trump spends 94 percent of each day—it’s Midler who’s the “washed up psycho!” Sure, sure. Why not.

The quote in question was allegedly from a 1998 People magazine interview, in which he’d (allegedly) said: “If I were to run, I’d run as a Republican. They’re the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they’d still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific.”

Doesn’t sound far-fetched at all, though it was found to be fake back in 2015. Midler acknowledged this in her apology tweet.

But apologies aren’t good enough for Trump, who must have only seen the tweet after a full day spent being booed by his thousands of adoring fans. For a man who, to my knowledge, has never apologized for anything, it’s curious that nothing short of seppuku will satisfy him.

Back in the States, Midler is not about to apologize again:

She also fired off a series of tweets mocking his ill-fitting tux, accused him of lying about the size of the protests in London, and…suggested he slam his dick in a door!

Midler wins again, and forever.