Trump Uses Swear Words Like 'Crap' and the Times Is ON IT

If at some point over the past few years you’ve had the unfortunate privilege of hearing Donald Trump push wet noises from his puckered mouth-hole, then you probably know that the president of the United States likes to swear.

Wow, golly, gosh! Are you scandalized? Of course not. You are an adult human being who understands that swearing is a normal—even healthy—behavior for other adult humans, and is laughably insignificant compared to ripping families apart, endorsing Nazis, or disparaging entire religions.

Nevertheless, this weekend The New York Times devoted more than 1,000 words (some of them naughty!) to examining the president’s potty mouth and its effect on our precious norms.

“In a single speech on Friday alone, he managed to throw out a ‘hell,’ an ‘ass” and a couple of ‘bullshits’ for good measure,” the Times reported on Sunday, adding that, “In the course of just one rally in Panama City Beach, Fla., earlier this month, he tossed out 10 ‘hells,’ three ‘damns’ and a ‘crap.’”

“10 ‘hells’”?? This is NOT normal!!!!!!

Because this is an issue of serious national importance, the Times also got introspective:

Even The New York Times, the so-called Gray Lady with all the news that’s fit to print, found it fit to print the B.S. word just 14 times in the many years before Mr. Trump’s inauguration, according to a Nexis search, but has used it 26 times since — not all in stories covering the president.

If you’ve got grandma’s pearls packed away somewhere, now’s the time to bust ‘em out and clutch at them like your life depends on it—the very fabric of our delicate national tapestry is being torn asunder by all these swears!

Look, is it bad that Trump says the bad words? Sure, I guess. It’s not good, at least. But does it actually matter? Not really. If you’re shocked by the fact that a president who was elected after bragging on tape about grabbing women “by the pussy” and is now overseeing a wholesale assault on women’s rights used “crap” in a speech, then reader, I think you’ve got bigger fucking problems to deal with.