TRUMP'S JULY 4, NOW WITH BIG-ASS COPTER AND PROUD BOYS

Donald Trump’s all-new, rebranded American Fourth of July in our nation’s capital promises to be a horrifying carnival for the ages.

If you’re keeping score, DC’s Republican elite will be treated to big-ass tanks (military good, strong), a non-political (lol) speech by Trump, and now the next generation Marine One helicopter will also reportedly do a flyover. Oh, and the Proud Boys are going to be in town!

As McClatchy reported today, the helicopter—made by Lockheed Martin and Sikorsky—isn’t in use yet, but Thursday’s celebrations will apparently mark the crazy-expensive aircraft’s public debut:

Known as the VH-92, the next generation Marine One will join an array of other advanced jets, including the VC-25, the president’s Air Force One 747, Marine Corps V-22 Ospreys, Navy F/A-18 fighters, Army AH-64 Apache helicopters and the Air Force’s signature strategic bomber, the B-2.

Now That’s What I Call Military Might! Remember, we couldn’t possibly bear the cost of universal healthcare, but this massive flying phallus and the likely astronomical expense of throwing this event are essential.

Who else is going to be in town this week to get in on the fun? According to the Daily Beast, the Fancy Lads themselves:

Members of the far-right Proud Boys men’s group and their allies will rally in D.C. on July 6, just a week after violence at rival Portland rallies ratcheted up tensions between groups on both the right and left. The Proud Boys event and a rival counterprotest threaten to add even more tension for what’s already shaping up to be a hot, strange week in Washington.

I promise you, the details are worse!

The event’s website lists a number of right-wing internet provocateurs, including conservative smear-pusher Jacob Wohl, anti-Muslim activist Laura Loomer, British far-right activist Milo Yiannopoulos, and former Pizzagate promoter Jack Posobiec. The bill also names a host of lesser-known social-media figures, including YouTube prankster-turned-congressional candidate Joey Salads and “Copper Cab,” the YouTuber who became famous in 2010 for the viral “gingers have souls” video.

An A-list cast of characters, to be sure. The Beast also reported that just across the street from where the rally is planned, a coalition of counterprotesters and antifacists are organizing and some plan to disrupt the event.

After last week’s events in Portland, it’ll certainly be something to watch.