Trump's Silicon Valley Fundraiser Sounds Like a Mystery Treasure Hunt for the Absolute Worst People

If you’re the sort of person who is willing to drop tens of thousands of bucks to help President Donald Trump get re-elected, my guess is you’re probably also the sort of person who loves mystery and intrigue (and racism)! Luckily for you, the president’s planned Tuesday afternoon fundraiser in Silicon Valley promises all of the above.

According to the Wall Street Journal, event attendees were not told in advance where the event is or who’s actually hosting it, and have instead been instructed to simply “arrive at a parking place in Palo Alto, from which they will be transported to the event.”

OOooOoOoOh, mysterious!

San Francisco attorney and former California Republican Party co-chair Harmeet Dhillon told Politico that the cloak-and-dagger maneuvering is because the president’s team is “taking no chances after the San Jose situation,” in which a 2016 fundraiser for the then-candidate turned into a melee between Trump supporters and protesters.

“We’ve got to protect the man who’s representing us and keep him safe so he will keep us safe,” Trump supporter Bonnie Uytengsu told the Mercury News.

Another thing donors might seem to be worried about keeping safe is their money. Earlier this summer, attendance at SoulCycle and Equinox gyms noticeably dipped after billionaire owner Stephen Ross hosted a fundraiser for Trump at his Hamptons home.

For Trump, too, Tuesday’s events seem all about the money, not actually about whipping up any sort of serious effort to win over a state where his approval rating is beyond abysmal. Speaking with Politico, Party insiders predicted the president’s swing through California this week could net him around $15 million, total.