Tweeting, Clap-Off, and Diet-Dictating Bras… Why?

The bra is pretty basic, right? Two cups, some straps, a band — it’s the design that’s been working to hold us up for decades. But perhaps even old classics need the occasional update. Or, maybe, rather marketers decide they need to sell us an update? Check out these three new bras that are supposed to enhance your life … at least, according to their ad copy.

Now Everybody Clap Your Hands!

Annoying bra hooks have long been the bane of both tired women after a long day at work, and fumbling middle-school daters. But letting the ladies hang loose may have just gotten a little easier, thanks to the “clap-off bra.” Its creator, Randy Sarafan, was inspired by the high-tech bras he’d heard about in Syria. However, the bra has pros and cons. Of course it would make your lover’s life easier, but wearing it during a concert, sports event, or anywhere with loud, rhythmic noise might not be such a great idea.

As If You Need Another Diet Dictator

If you’re feeling anxious, you may well eat. And if you eat too much and don’t move enough, you gain weight. Society’s full of reminders of all that, but hey, here’s anotehr one. Microsoft Researchers have invented a stress-busting bra made with sensors that track your mood and alert you when you’re stress eating. The data is then streamed to a smartphone app, so you can keep tabs on how much you’ve been swallowing your feelings.

I Mean, You Do Tweet EVERYTHING, Right?

Each time this bra is unhooked, it sends an automatic tweet. (WHY, right?) Nestle Fitness created the bra to remind twitter followers about the importance of breast exams during Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

So ladies, now you have even more reasons to wear a bra. Applause, anyone? Well, that’s unless you are wearing the Clap-Off Bra. Then you might want to hold off.

Born and raised in Spain, Lara is a digital producer and writer for Fusion — covering stories in culture and technology as well as in-depth environmental issues across the globe.