What Does Diaper Don Say About the Mueller Investigation?

Admittedly, probably not too much! But People magazine put out a new story about Donald Trump Jr.’s drunken antics in college today and I really wanted to write about it. Here we go!

While it’s previously been reported that Don Jr. went by the less-than-affectionate nickname “Diaper Don” in college—so named because of his tendency to get shit-canned, fall asleep in other peoples’ beds, and piss himself—a new book contains charming anecdotes about him being drunken, unruly, AND a classist asshole.

As People reports, Emily Jane Fox writes in her new book Born Trump:

Diaper Don would wake up in some stranger’s dorm room or off-campus apartment or bedroom in his frat house, covered in piss, walk back to his own room, and get blitzed that evening or the next anew.

Nearly too sad for words, but for the fact that this privileged asshole now has a daddy in the White House!

Things apparently got even worse when our budding real estate exec took a spring break trip to Jamaica while March Madness was going on. According to Fox:

Drunk and bitter over a basketball loss to Florida State, Trump Jr. stood up on a table and chanted to Florida students, “That’s all right! That’s okay! You’re gonna work for us someday.”

“These were kids from state school,” one Penn student at the bar that day recalled to Fox. “The subtext wasn’t hard for anyone to figure out.”

Although all of this feels totally, completely, 200% believable coming from the douchiest Trump, his spokesperson disputed those stories wholesale, highlighting the fact that Donald Jr. has reached the ripe old age of 40.

“Both of these ‘claims’ are simply false. Don, who is now 40 years old, would be the first to admit that he enjoyed college, that said, both of these stories just aren’t true,” the spokesperson told the magazine.

You heard it here first, folks!