Your Booty Call, Not Your Boo: How to Tell the Difference

It’s easy to get confused between a booty call and a boo. Nowadays, they seem like one in the same. The way a booty call attracts you is kind of the same way a potential boo does – phone calls and a date here and there. Hell, they’ll even tell you a bit about their life in the beginning. The major difference is that the hook-up lays out one rule pretty clearly: He, or she, isn’t looking for a relationship.

So, now what do you do? You ignore it because you know you’ve got to be the one who changes it! But how? With SEX! Fab idea! Then, BOOM, you’re at your place having sex multiple times a week while wondering, ‘how come we haven’t been on any dates?’ But not once do you build the nerve to ask because you’re ‘dickmerized!’

To help get you out of the booty-call zone, use this handy list I put together while waiting for my booty call to….call.

Checks in throughout the day? Boo. Texts you only at night? Booty call.

Is the typical message, “what you doing, sexy?” or “what are you wearing?” Well, boo, it’s a booty call. Someone who genuinely cares about you will check in throughout the day, even if it’s a quick “how are you.” Better yet, that person will actually call you! See the difference?

Know their hopes and dreams? Boo. They never ask about you? Booty call.

Review all of the conversations you’ve had with your booty call – what were they about? Were they deep conversations about life, love and the pursuit of happiness? Boo. Or were they more along the lines of the next time he was going to eat? Booty call!

When we become friends with our booty calls, it’s easy to slip into a “relationship” mentality. But, come on! Booty calls are not there to discuss hopes and dreams – the depths of conversation shouldn’t go further than what time you hope to hook up. Eff your dreams.

PDA in restaurants? Boo. Disappearing on Valentine’s Day? Booty call.

When you’re in a relationship, you go out and partake in disgusting and uncomfortable-for-other-people displays of affection. A booty call won’t ever do that! I want you to really take note of what happens when Valentine’s Day comes around. Booty calls won’t take you out for a fine dining experience. No, ma’am – you will be stuck at home waiting for that 12am booty to call in your best overpriced lingerie.

Cuddled up after the deed for more time than feels obligatory? Boo. Swift exit in a cab after the deed? Booty call.

Some people mistake going to bed in each others arms after a ravenous night as a sign that there’s “love” there. Goodbye to that! Romanticizing a booty call is the problem – if you wake up beside him in the morning you might mistakenly gaze longingly into his eyes whilst him being asleep, then you’ll want to do something nice for him like make breakfast or “clean up” so you can clear a space in his drawer for your things. The only nice thing you should be doing for a booty call is google-mapping how he can take his ass home when you’re done.

All of this said, if you still can’t tell the difference, JUST ASK! Don’t be that girl or guy who gets sprung (see T-pain’s song)!